This whole being a writer thing is kinda hard tbh.

It’s crazy how quickly we forget all the goals and dreams we had until one thing knocks us off our rocker.

*******

Ever since I wrote that damn article about the breakup, people have had nonstop questions and concerns. I was so thankful for everyones love and support but damn, it was discouraging to ever write again. (Hence me being MIA but poppppinn on da gram HAHA)

I forget that my blog is public sometimes. I really just write for my soul. I feel at ease when I talk to the wonderful humans I’m surrounded by, but writing just helps me get through the toughest days. Like I’ve said before, It’s like me talking to the universe.

*******

I’m just gonna straight up say it.

I’m terrified to write again. I’m anxious about letting people in again. Letting the nice people of the internet, the mean people of the internet, the strangers, friends, family, the peeeeeps that stay on Saturn. I want to write about dating in 2o17 (and how the shit doesn’t exist), life after college and the shitty parts of adulting, how social media has taken over our lives, how people don’t know how to take honesty and different opinions, how racism is real, how ignoring your feelings is unhealthy, how still being in love with your ex is a thing, how we need to be better to the enviornment, how love is beautiful and a weapon at the same time, how society sucks sometimes, how being lonely is real, how dating sucks, did I mention dating sucks cause dating fucking sucks, how getting your degree is dope but finding a job right after college is hard as hell, how paying your own phone bill ain’t no joke, how you don’t even understand yourself sometimes, how sometimes you just need a good cry, how seeking help is not a sign of weakness, how unspoken apologies are shitty, how apologizing in general is hard as hell, how we suck at communication as a whole and how the hell dating sucks. HAHA

It really tripped me out how people actually read this. Like I’m flattered, don’t get me wrong, I freaking love you, but man, I still am learning to love parts of me that no one claps for. (s/o Rudy Francisco) I was caught off guard from all the love and concerns I received after the breakup post and didn’t know how to handle it.

How do we not know how to accept love when it is literally right in front of us?

This is what I think what terrified me. Not the questions or concerns but the actual message I didn’t quite know how to understand.

********

I’m happy to be back and I’m happy you’re on the road with me. It’s gonna be quite the adventure, but this journey of life is too amazing to not be shared, even if it terrifies me a bit.

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